By Gini Cunningham
It used to be when you thought something might be true but you weren't sure, you asked questions, conducted research, applied the "truth" meter, and then verified the authenticity of a matter before making a public announcement. Thus I would never proclaim my neighbor had received threats from a son, a friend had terminal cancer, or a family member had been heralded at work for achievement without checking things out first. And probably I would never share these events anyway as the first is very private and unless my neighbor has asked me to take action, the matter is none of my business and out of my control. My sick friend is even more private and I am certain that s/he would never want me to divulge information helter-skelter anyway. Instead we would chat face-to-face as s/he advised me into action.
Even when my children are awarded prizes and accolades, I am hesitant to spread the word because I do not want to appear overbearing or bragging and my celebration for their success will more likely be private and personal. I am abundantly proud of all three of my children. They have made me proud, but few outside of our immediate circle really want to have their ears talked off on how terrific my kids are. I've been in that position with other friends and acquaintances who prattle off every award and reward known and after time the diatribe becomes monotonous and my mind withdraws. This is especially true on the second, third, fourth, etc. rendition of this particular child's success.
Why is it then that suddenly as a public we accept disinformation with neither pause nor hesitation? Someone declares that the President is not a citizen even though facts prove otherwise and this disinformation spreads and expands and foments under the breath and more often out loud in outbursts of negativity. Another states that the government is going to round up all of our guns and disarm us so that we can be taken hostage and imprisoned. While no one in the government has even suggested such a move, this lie has exploded as some residents stockpile rifles, pistols, and assault weapons along with mountains of ammunition. Even when proof is offered, disinformation overpowers sense and the lie perpetuates.
Planned Parenthood has provided research centers with fetal matter to be studied for the benefit of all. They do not sell it, they do not harvest it without great thought and care, and yet a falsified film is believed as opposed to records and documentation. A service that offers health care to millions of individuals who would quite possibly not receive it otherwise, is vilified and threatened with cutting or ending all funding for the entire operation in the balance. Even when evidence is offered and the doctoring of the film is exposed, some wallow in the disinformation thinking that with enough pronouncements it will become true. Ignorance reigns.
I would really like some truth. Yes, give me your thoughts and then allow me to prove or disprove them. With evidence in hand, from me and more from you, we can discuss, examine, and then draw conclusions based on research and facts rather than on emotions and hostilities. What example do we set for future generations when lies and shrieks overtake honesty and truth? Disinformation is frightening and those who disseminate it in mighty roars are a great disservice to our collective mind and knowledge base.
Ovulation tests
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Thursday, October 01, 2015
The Calendar Called "Life"
By Sweta P Mishra
If you are twenty five years old, you should have already got a job or at least should be on your way. If you are thirty you should be planning a family or at least be married. By thirty five, you should have bought your own house and be taking the stress of the EMI. I can go on... Truth be told, I have myself fallen prey to what I call a "mandatory stress calendar for social success". If you do not cater to these periodic "stress milestones", you are not successful as per social norms. Your family, friends, colleagues and neighbors ensure you have a very clear vision of this calendar. If you lose track of it consciously or unknowingly, they make sure to hammer some sense (which they might explain as social intelligence) to you, remind you how you have fallen behind and leave no stone unturned to ensure that you are back in the race.
I must clarify that I am not opinionated against age old wisdom, neither do I grudge individuals who have happily chosen to do what their fellow human beings do. But I am a little worried about few members of our species who have chosen to tread a different path- a path slightly non-compliant, a path that probably stems from a cognitive make that does not recognize social compliance as the greatest virtue. And the reason of my worry- purely selfish. If there are two situations which have given me the most substantial amount of agony in my life, they are: 1) Whenever I asked "why"? 2) Whenever I asked "why not"? My heart goes out to all my fellow human beings who believe that asking for a rationale is fundamental to a thinking being's life, because I know the amount of struggle this approach brings with itself.
While I stumble and tumble every single day embracing my non-compliant cognitive make (for the lack of a better word), I have developed what I call my own perspective to dealing with this "imperative stress calendar". This helps me do two things: enables me to breathe when I am pushed to believe that I have fallen behind in the race and secondly, helps me address situations when I feel judged.
Having lived half my life, having looked around and viewed the life of friends and family, the biggest observation which has now become a guiding principle for me is "Complete compliance is not necessarily a virtue". In the other words, if everyone does something, then that action is not necessarily correct or moral. That is, whoever does not follow suit is not by default wrong or immoral. Think back to whatever you remember of your history class in school and you would note that at least two to three social evils which were common phenomenon during that era. And everybody lived that as a natural part of their lives. But today, we look back at them as social evils which were eradicated. Correctness I believe, can't be debated without context. And contexts differ from one person to another.
The second observation relates to a phenomenon which I call "half-truths as ethical basis to norms". A wise author once said "I don't believe in borrowed wisdom". I like the very audacity of the statement. A classic statement based on borrowed wisdom: "Marriage completes an individual". May be it does for some and doesn't for others. But here is where the problem begins, calling an individual selfish because he enjoys the "no strings attached" feeling that comes with bachelorhood. Let's acknowledge that while some run away from marriage to preserve freedom, most get married to find companionship. Both cases involve a personal motive. So why do we raise our eyebrows at the first situation and consider the second a normal progression in life? What makes the first situation or individual an anomaly? That is because we choose to focus on half of the truth- we see motive when someone chooses to move away from norms but we close our eyes to the motives that dictate compliance to norms. That is a very convenient usage of a half-truth, isn't it?
I know many individuals who have maintained the so called social schedule, achieved the right milestone (from the mandatory stress calendar) at the right time, and are yet deprived of a basic sense of well-being.
Look around and you will see that happiness can't be the outcome of a calendarized life. Neither will co-existence be possible unless we get rid of a world view that differentiates the non- compliant from the compliant. Look at any aspect of life and you will find numerous instances when you have either judged or been judged for not following a prevalent norm. To question, to drift (if life allows you that luxury) and to tread your own path is imperative to find your own truth. Of all the species, us human beings should be the first to make space for it.
If you are twenty five years old, you should have already got a job or at least should be on your way. If you are thirty you should be planning a family or at least be married. By thirty five, you should have bought your own house and be taking the stress of the EMI. I can go on... Truth be told, I have myself fallen prey to what I call a "mandatory stress calendar for social success". If you do not cater to these periodic "stress milestones", you are not successful as per social norms. Your family, friends, colleagues and neighbors ensure you have a very clear vision of this calendar. If you lose track of it consciously or unknowingly, they make sure to hammer some sense (which they might explain as social intelligence) to you, remind you how you have fallen behind and leave no stone unturned to ensure that you are back in the race.
I must clarify that I am not opinionated against age old wisdom, neither do I grudge individuals who have happily chosen to do what their fellow human beings do. But I am a little worried about few members of our species who have chosen to tread a different path- a path slightly non-compliant, a path that probably stems from a cognitive make that does not recognize social compliance as the greatest virtue. And the reason of my worry- purely selfish. If there are two situations which have given me the most substantial amount of agony in my life, they are: 1) Whenever I asked "why"? 2) Whenever I asked "why not"? My heart goes out to all my fellow human beings who believe that asking for a rationale is fundamental to a thinking being's life, because I know the amount of struggle this approach brings with itself.
While I stumble and tumble every single day embracing my non-compliant cognitive make (for the lack of a better word), I have developed what I call my own perspective to dealing with this "imperative stress calendar". This helps me do two things: enables me to breathe when I am pushed to believe that I have fallen behind in the race and secondly, helps me address situations when I feel judged.
Having lived half my life, having looked around and viewed the life of friends and family, the biggest observation which has now become a guiding principle for me is "Complete compliance is not necessarily a virtue". In the other words, if everyone does something, then that action is not necessarily correct or moral. That is, whoever does not follow suit is not by default wrong or immoral. Think back to whatever you remember of your history class in school and you would note that at least two to three social evils which were common phenomenon during that era. And everybody lived that as a natural part of their lives. But today, we look back at them as social evils which were eradicated. Correctness I believe, can't be debated without context. And contexts differ from one person to another.
The second observation relates to a phenomenon which I call "half-truths as ethical basis to norms". A wise author once said "I don't believe in borrowed wisdom". I like the very audacity of the statement. A classic statement based on borrowed wisdom: "Marriage completes an individual". May be it does for some and doesn't for others. But here is where the problem begins, calling an individual selfish because he enjoys the "no strings attached" feeling that comes with bachelorhood. Let's acknowledge that while some run away from marriage to preserve freedom, most get married to find companionship. Both cases involve a personal motive. So why do we raise our eyebrows at the first situation and consider the second a normal progression in life? What makes the first situation or individual an anomaly? That is because we choose to focus on half of the truth- we see motive when someone chooses to move away from norms but we close our eyes to the motives that dictate compliance to norms. That is a very convenient usage of a half-truth, isn't it?
I know many individuals who have maintained the so called social schedule, achieved the right milestone (from the mandatory stress calendar) at the right time, and are yet deprived of a basic sense of well-being.
Look around and you will see that happiness can't be the outcome of a calendarized life. Neither will co-existence be possible unless we get rid of a world view that differentiates the non- compliant from the compliant. Look at any aspect of life and you will find numerous instances when you have either judged or been judged for not following a prevalent norm. To question, to drift (if life allows you that luxury) and to tread your own path is imperative to find your own truth. Of all the species, us human beings should be the first to make space for it.
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